Wednesday, April 10, 2013


Harrison just had his 3rd birthday and he outsmarts me every day. If I had his powers of persuasion and negotiation skills, I could RULE THE WORLD.  Here is a sampling of the diabolical genius that I'm up against:

* When asked to do something, Harrison often replies with a mannered "no thank you, mommy". It's difficult to insist when he's so freaking polite!

* When he wants us to play with him, he starts small and then works his way up.  "Mommy, how about we play trains for TWO minutes?!?"  Followed by "Mommy, why don't we play trains for FIVE minutes?!?  Which leads to "Mommy, let's just go ahead and play trains for TEN MINUTES!!!"  It is literally impossible to say no. Impossible. I should start a booth at the fair and challenge people to refuse him for a $1 wager. I could move to the Cayman Islands.

*He always has a trump card. Parents often find themselves giving an ultimatum. With Harrison, you better be damn sure you're ready to follow through because he is stubborn enough to willfully choose a consequence. I might tell him that he will have to go to time out if he breaks a rule again. In response, he might tell me "I'd better just go to time out then!"  May I remind you that HE'S THREE!

*There's always room for one more. "Can I have ONE  more m&m?"  "Let's stay outside for ONE more minute, mommy!!"  "Read just ONE more story, please daddy?!?"  After he has exhausted all his "one more", he switches to "LAST TIME!"

You might be smugly thinking that I'm just a pushover. Be careful. I'm not above sending my child to barter you right out of your most cherished belongings. Trust me when I tell you that he could.

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